Embracing yourself 🤗
This week I want to talk about how we can escape competition through being authentic and true to ourselves.
Enjoy!
Competition is one of the fundamental forces of our social world1. Whether you're striving for success in your career or simply looking for the best matcha tea in town2, competition is likely to play a role in your life.
It’s the unvoiced owner of Adam Smith’s invisible hand, and the driver of product selection and evolution.
Ultimately we want the best for ourselves and our loved ones, and competition in the economy (usually) grants us that: wonderful goods and services at a reasonable cost.
But there’s a more sinister side. Much of life has directed us towards competition in other parts of our experience, too.
We compete for limited places at prestigious universities or workplaces, to join exclusive clubs and eat at famed restaurants, and to wear the latest fashion or to get the best concert tickets.
If you look back at these examples, you’ll realise that many examples of competition in our lives are ultimately rooted in conformity, or behaving similarly to others.
Philosophers call this mimetic theory: the desire of what others desire. It leads us to conform with friends and to push out others that don’t fit in. It spans across all forms of social interaction, from the creation of communal norms3 and identity, to the formation of our individual identity and aspirations.
At its best, conformity helps us build community and a sense of belonging. At its worst, conformity leads to exclusion, an unrelenting pressure to fit in or stand out, and stale mediocrity.
So, what’s the solution?
To be yourself.
To be authentic to who you are and what makes you unique.
And if you’re authentic then you must original, because no one can compete with you on being you.
Take a moment to reflect:
what do you genuinely desire?
what are your values, passions, goals?
If you align your actions with these core aspects of yourself, you’re more likely to feel fulfilled and happy.
So spend a few moments now to think about it 🧘
Remember, being authentic doesn’t mean you have to reject all forms of competition or conformity. It simply means you approach them with a clear understanding of your own values and priorities, rather than letting external pressures dictate your choices.
I’ve been mulling over the ideas in this post during the long weekend, and came to some fun realisations. I hope it’s useful for you too.
That’s it for this week — go be weird, friends! 🥴
Thank you to JE and friends for their help with this post.
What are the other fundamental forces of the social world? It’d be fun to come up with a list — let me know your thoughts!
Nippon Cha, if you’re in Williamsburg.